I told Matt a few times late in my pregnancy that I had been in labor for 9 months. The anticipation of our first child was my only focus. I didn’t expect to feel that way. For years I was in the no kid camp. Now, I can’t imagine life without Jasper.

There is no way I would have been able to have a natural labor if I was forced to stay in bed. I walked, swayed, bounced, leaned, danced, squatted, and floated in water. My husband and doula were there the whole time encouraging me, holding me up, rubbing my back, feeding me, and smiling. I can’t really tell you how it feels to labor. I imagine it is unique to each woman. What I can tell you is that I made it one minute at a time. The great thing about contractions is that there are spaces in between. If you can survive a minute, you will get a rest.

I don’t know what time it was when I hit transition. I think it was starting to get light out. I was in the tub and what I can remember is feeling like a train was running through my body. The spaces in between were intense too. I could hear my voice but it sounded like somebody else or something else. Those were the longest moments of my life. In between the pain I would talk to the baby. “Come on Baby!” became my mantra. I was talking the baby out of the womb.

Having the support of my incredible husband, doula, and midwives gave me extreme confidence. I can’t express that enough. The environment of the birthing center is so comfortable and inviting. I never once thought of pain medication or intervention.

I had to suppress the urge to push and squat during the contractions to get the rest of the cervix out of the way. It was the last hurdle but it was a doozy! I was still in the tub flopping from my back to a squat for what seemed like an eternity. Finally I was able to push past the last part of the cervix.

Pushing is different in a really good way. For one, I knew I would meet my child very soon! But it also meant I could do something to help bring the labor to an end. When I started pushing in the water the baby’s heart rate dropped some. At first they just had me flip over and try pushing that way. The baby’s heart rate was still dropping during pushing. So, they had me get out of the tub.

They had me push standing up for a little bit. They had me crawl onto the bed. I was leaning over the footboard on one knee. From there I gave some super pushes. When the head came out the body was right behind it quickly. And I heard, “Pick up your baby!” There below me was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Jasper was here! I scooped him up and flipped onto my back. My husband and I were both crying our eyes out and basically in shock. Jasper barely cried and he looked around and grasped at my now flat belly. The midwives had me touch the cord and I could feel it still pulsing. The connection between us was still pulsing. We let the cord pulse till it stopped on it’s own.

My husband got to cut the cord and I birthed the placenta soon after. The midwives helped me settle into the bed. The bed was now so welcoming as I held my newborn son. Jasper was calm and found my breast right away and began to nurse. I was so energized and overwhelmed with love. Not only for him but also for my sweet husband. People tell you that experiencing the birth of your child is incredible. It is. In that very moment, your life resets with the primary focus being on the child. I have been breathing in every second of him since that moment. Jasper was always meant to be. That became so clear the moment he arrived.

I know that natural labor is not for every woman. I am grateful that I avoided complications that would have changed my birth plan. For me, it was what I needed and what I wanted to give Jasper and to Matt. I know that the experience changed Matt profoundly. I know that Jasper had the purest entrance into the world that I could provide him. And for me, I feel empowered. There isn’t anything that I can’t overcome now. The challenge of a very long labor will always remind me of my inner strength. For once in my life I am so proud of my body. I am utterly amazed of what my body did and continues to do now as I nurse my son.

ten seconds old